ST ALBANS, WV – Police have arrested a man after he huffed spray paint then beat his mother over the head with a spatula.
Glenn Allen Casdorph loves paint. His mother? Maybe not so much.
About 10:45 PM last Thursday, September 13th, police in St. Albans, West Virginia were dispatched to a residence in reference to a domestic incident involving injuries.
That’s cop-speak for “Glenn’s up to his old tricks again.”
When they arrived, officers found Glenn Allen Casdorph, 30, AKA “Casdorph the Destroyer,” AKA “Squirrel,” sitting on a bench in the front yard, brandishing a steel bar and besmeared with copious amounts of silver spray-paint.
It is a well-known fact to connoisseurs of spray paint that the silver and gold varietals have both the best bouquet and the best buzz. And Casdorph the Destroyer is no novice when it comes to huffing paint.
Having dealt with Casdorph multiple times in relation to his predilection for solvent abuse, his condition was probably not surprising to responding officers. And given his history of responding violently to anyone who attempted to curtail his illicit love of fluorocarbons, what they found in the house probably didn’t surprise them either.
A domestic disagreement between Casdorph and his mother, Robin Casdorph, which we can reasonably assume was related to his decision to waste yet another perfectly good Thursday night with a can of Rust-oleum, resulted in Momma getting whacked in the head repeatedly with a spatula.
From the amount of blood, they were pretty good whacks, too.
Momma refused to be transported for treatment. Casdorph wasn’t given a choice.
He was arrested on a charge of malicious wounding and lodged in the South Central Regional Jail with bail set at $10,000. That’s about 2000 cans of Casdorph’s aerosol drug-of-choice, to put it in terms that his solvent-fried brain could possibly comprehend.
Possibly.
This article was written by Old Man Metal for The Dreamin Demon - the Internet's self-appointed buzzkill.